I am hitting the age where I have conversations with friends about the ailing health of parents and other relatives. Some have lost loved ones recently. As a result, my friends have had to deal with the possessions of these family members. Some have had to downsize parents into assisted living or memory care facility. Others have lost loved ones who had not had the time or inclination to tackle their possessions before they passed. So many of our conversations have been about how to distribute items to those who might want them and what to do to with items no one they know wants.
It’s an overwhelming thought to tackle someone else’s detritus be it heirloom quality antiques or a beanie baby collection.
As a regular collector of not just pens and inks, but also camera equipment, yarn, books and so much more. I often wonder what will happen when I need to downsize my home, or god forbid, Bob has to deal with all my crap.
This is where The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta Magnusson comes in.
“It is amazing, and also a little strange, how many things we accumulate in a lifetime.”
While anyone can use some of the ideas from Swedish Death Cleaning as it is one of a multitude of techniques for decluttering, I think the perspective of what is excess junk vs valuable keepsakes is a nice variation.
“Start with the large items in your home, and finish with the small.”
The audiobook is narrated by the amazing Juliet Stevenson which makes it sound like a wise great aunt is extolling her life advice to you as you listen. The audiobook is also just tree hours in listening time which could easily be completed in a few days of dish-doing, walking or cleaning while listening.
“This cycle of consumption we are all part of will eventually destroy our planet—but it doesn’t have to destroy the relationship you have with whomever you leave behind.”
The book, while short, introduces a lot of ideas for thought but the overall steps or how-to is not as apparent. This is definitely a book for someone looking to consider the best way to remove excess, detritus and extraneous items from their lives before it becomes someone else’s responsibility. There are some tips like starting with large items first like furniture and move to small items that may have considerably more sentimental value like jewelry, letters (or fountain pens). The author says when she tackles projects like this, she always starts with clothes. For me, I have a huge sentimental attachment to clothing so I am more apt to start in the kitchen and other common areas. I am not emotionally attached to towels, tupperware or pots. Well, maybe not most of them anyway.
“Recycling and donating can both help the planet and also bring things to people who may need them.”
There is also a lot to gain from considering ideas from this book, even if you are still in your 20s or 30s and a long way from your imminent end.
As many decluttering books mention, if you have too many things, it is often hard to find what you need when you need it. This loops around to some of the concepts from the minimalism movement including the $20/20 minutes idea.
“To hunt for misplaced things is never an effective use of your time.”
How does this relate to fountain pens and stationery?
Let me loop this around to fountain pen and stationery collectors. How much stuff have you accumulated over the years? In your enthusiasm for the hobby did you purchase a bunch of budget pens or every color variation of a specific pen you liked? Do you still want or need all of them? Do you have boxes full of ink or samples you never use?
What about notebooks? Stickers? Washi tape? Is it time to host a swap with friends? For years, my friends and I have hosted a clothing exchange where we bring all our unused, unwanted and no-longer-fit garments, shoes and accessories and swap with one another. Once we have all acquired new items, everything left goes to a pre-selected charity and we load up one vehicle (sometimes two) with the items and feel good about getting new items while also clearing our closets of things that no longer work for us. The goal is always to take home way less than we bring.
I have wanted to do the same thing with stationery and craft supplies. To invite other stationery folks for snacks and swap seems like a great way to spend an afternoon. Or take excess items to your local pen club meet-up. Some pen shows are setting up swap tables and some events even have local art supply charities set-up a table so that anything not collected will be taken to their facility for resale or donation to local schools.
If that feels too overwhelming, consider donating usable items to a local school or take them to a local thrift store.
While I am sure that a stationery cupboard cleanout might be the most sentimental part of a Swedish Death Cleaning, knowing that you were able to distribute your items to people who might enjoy them as much as you did is a good feeling.
As for the book, The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, I think it gave me some ideas as to where to start and made it a little more acceptable to talk about what needs to happen with “all the stuff”.
It did make me think that I spent the first half of my life accumulating items and the second half trying to figure out how to get rid of it all.
Have you tried to tackle a declutter or Swedish Death Cleaning recently? How did it go?
I love how it talks about giving items to the intended recipient while you’re still able to see them enjoy it. It does no good for it to sit at your home, waiting to be passed on.
I read the book and realized I don’t want to leave boxes of stuff nobody wants. That changed my perspective on the things in my home. What is no longer important is being let go. And I am more selective in what I bring in..
My husband and I recently moved from our 3-bedroom home of 43 years to a 2-bedroom condo in a CCRC community. We expect not to need to move again. It was tough leaving so much stuff behind, but I was able to hang on to most of the furniture I love. Books was the biggest sticking point–I love my books, they “spark joy” as Marie Kondo recommends, and I reread some books over and over again. I do not trust libraries to keep copies of the books I’ve loved over the past 70+ years and I do not enjoy reading on a screen. I love the feel and smell of paper and the tactile experience of holding a book. I know I brought too much stuff with us and I am unpacking now, putting my books in order on the brand new shelves I had installed. Now I will tackle the small knickknacks I felt I couldn’t leave behind. I would like to have a yard sale or join someone else’s sale so that I can pass these treasures on personally. If I knew that someone who collects stuff or uses it for art or has kids who would love it, it would be easier to let it go. I don’t care about making money–I can donate the procedes to a worthy cause. It’s the personal connection that I want. As part of prepping for the move I had to close down a studio space I had rented for 25 years. My studio partner of 15 years and I had a “give-away” where we invited friends, teachers, and artists to take our surplus supplies and even framed artwork. It felt really good to know that many of my art pieces were going to friends and to people who connected to the work. My family also took some of my art and that makes me really happy to see my pieces displayed in their homes.
I’ve spent the past 2 years seriously working on death cleaning, and I still have a long way to go. But it feels amazing to see all the additional space I now have in every room, and I have vowed not to refill it! Once a year, my Urban Sketchers group holds a Gab & Grab: Everyone brings in unwanted art supplies, and we all swap. What’s left at the end goes to charity. So much fun!
I love the Gab & Grab idea. Thanks for sharing!
I tried listening to the Audible version because I was intrigued by the topic (goodness knows I need to de-acquisition many things in my home), and I love the Juliet Stevenson as a narrator. However, when I got to the part where the author simply sold a bracelet that had belonged to her mother, rather than try to figure out which of her children or grandchildren would like to have it, I could not continue. My values differ from the author’s – I cherish (and wear) a necklace that used to belong to my late mother. Magnusson comes across as a cold fish – I’d rather hear from someone who struggled through their down-sizing journey instead of someone who simply called in an auction house. Although I did not finish the book, I also understand, based on other reviews, that she took an objectionable approach to downsizing her pets. I am downsizing, but that book is not for me.
Yes, the pet section was hard but it is something that if you are moving into assisted care, might have to be tackled. The overarching message I got there was to consider how pets should be cared for when adopting should you ever be in a position to no longer keep them. She moved from the US back to Europe and didn’t want her animals to be in quarantine for months so she adopted them out to other people. It isn’t ideal but I can’t imagine how my animals would react to being in quarantine for 4 months either.
As for the author selling items rather than asking her family, I didn’t entirely agree with her approach but also have watched several friends trying to “save” all items of value or sentimentality and how hard they are trying, how much time they are spending and I wish they hadn’t opened the jewelry box, drawer, or cupboard as it is causing them such stress.
More than anything, I appreciated that the book made me think.